I just don’t know how I feel. I’m literally so confused.
This past weekend, I’ve realized how insecure and shy I truly am.
Maybe some things will never change. Maybe I’m just not the type of guy to “make a move”. I prefer to be a gentleman and stay within my boundaries. Maybe nowadays girls want someone to cross the line a little bit. I don’t know. If I had to, I would. But I would prefer not to. Even though I can, I feel like I won’t. Its not the way I was brought up. It’s not the way my morals work.
Its especially harder when I really like a girl. I get all types of shy. I won’t show it, and you would never be able to tell, but I get soooo shy on the inside. I literally ruin my own chances by not trying something. I prefer to take it slow and just be friends, even if I really like someone.
I won’t explicitly do anything that really shows I like them. Meanwhile, all the other guys jump at every little chance they get. And lets be honest here, the more chances you take, the more successful you will be. I just limit myself and then bitch about it later.
Its such a vicious cycle.
I wish I wasn’t so shy sometimes. I wish I had the courage to grab a girl, look into her eyes, and tell her that I care about her and that I would do anything to see her happy. I wish I didn’t just sit there and hear her talk about all the guys that like her and how wonderful some of them are. I wish I didn’t doubt myself so much. I wish I could be more confident in myself. I just wish I could tell her that I may not be any better than those guys, but that I promise to love her more than any of them. And that I would never disappoint her and try my best to make sure she wakes up with a smile on her face and goes to bed with the same.
I just wish…
I just wish I could tell her how I feel and that she could maybe give me a chance to make her mine.
- She lives 266 miles away from me.
- Has 4 guys that like her BESIDES ME.
- Is dating one of them.
- That one is in Harvard Med School.
- Can play the guitar and sing.
- Plays cricket.
- Lives 10 mins from her.
- Oh yeah and the 3 other guys still there that all live close to her and in her building and stuff.
- Then theres… me.
See my problem? I can’t compete with all that!
I know I like her more than all of them but I legit have no chance here.
You know what? FUCK the fact that I always get yelled at for not trying to keep a friendship going. Excuse me but friendship works both way!
“Oh you never text me anymore!”
Well fuck you cause you never text me anymore either!
“Oh why haven’t you called me in a while?”
Well you have a phone too!
Just because I can’t accommodate to everyone’s needs doesn’t mean that I’m to blame. You have to put in just as much effort as I do. And if YOUR ASSES can’t do that, well then I’m sorry but I’m not going to just sit here and say sorry anymore.
when you need someone by your side as a friend, or even something more, remember that I’ll ALWAYS be there.
… I’ve almost always been the back up best friend to everyone. I don’t really mind it I guess cause I’m used to it but still. I’ve always considered people my best friend and put them first when to them I’m usually the best friend when the other isn’t there. I’m not saying they don’t consider me their best friend or anything like that. I know they do but at the same time I’m never the first person anyone would come to. Oh well, thats life I guess.
Seriously. What is wrong with guys these days? What if someone talked to your mother or your sister like that? SMH.
Look I’m not saying I am a philosopher or anything like that, but some of the posts I make actually have some meaning and thought behind it! I think about stuff and then I write. Look at it here. (Shameless self promo lol) I get excited when it reaches over 10 notes! To me, it is an accomplishment that someone actually heard what I had to say. I’m not the type of guy who really craves notes and stuff but a few are nice. It makes me feel like my voice is being heard and people understand or at least appreciate what I have to say.
Then there are things on my dash that I see from really attractive people that is like, “Hi I like cereal.” And stuff like this will get like 40 likes on it. Hey no problem in liking cereal but the only reason people liked it or something was because of the person who wrote it. Nothing more. Don’t get me wrong, I love the people on my dash and that is why I follow them. They are all great individuals and I would help them in a heartbeat! Most of the people have AMAZING personalities but it sort of just gets to me that because these girls and guys are so attractive that they can say nonsensical things and it is completely ok for them to do so and get tons of notes while I talk about things that actually matter or have some meaning behind them and I get 10-15 notes on them. By the way, this is not towards anyone specific and if I offended you Im sorry for that, it is unintentional. I mean this with the best heart.
This is a good example.
So lately I have been hearing a lot of stuff regarding Valentine’s Day. Good and bad. Some people are saying that oh it shouldn’t even be considered a real holiday and its just a way for businesses to sell us stuff. On the other hand people are like oh all the single people in the world are just mad that they don’t have anyone. Well me, I am neither. I am single, yet I do believe that Valentine’s Day is a real holiday that should be celebrated. Oh btw I am sick of all these guys saying, Oh you should treat your girl right every day, not just Valentine’s Day. And then these apparently super “nice” guys get all these likes and notes.
Bitch shut up. I highly doubt that you treat your girl like it is Valentine’s Day EVERY SINGLE DAY OF YOUR LIFE. Sorry but it just isn’t possible for most people to do that. If it was, we would be eating out every single night at an expensive restaurant. Buying roses every day. Sending chocolate to our loves, cuddling and watching a movie, spending the day together, and whatever else cliche things we do. Every. Single. Day. Now to those guys that are apparently treating their girl like it is Valentine’s Day every day, do you do all that every single day of the year? If you do, hats off to you and you deserve an applause from me, seriously. But for the rest of the population, it is nice to dedicate a day to love. We all have our busy schedules and a lot of us just don’t get the time to treat everyone with the uttermost love that we can every day. Besides, it doesn’t have to be a significant other. For me it is just simply a day dedicated to love. Just like Christmas time is to celebrate giving and festivities. My birthday is to celebrate when I was born. Besides that, it is just another day so why celebrate that either. Or Thanksgiving. Why do you get together with your family and take time to be thankful? Shouldn’t you do that every day? You celebrate these things don’t you? So why not celebrate love? Yes it has turned into a day to make money for businesses but for me, it still is another day to same someone in my life smile. I like Valentine’s Day because it reminds everyone that shit, maybe I haven’t been giving someone as much love as I should be. It is good to be reminded that you love someone and someone out there loves you. Happy Valentine’s Day everyone! Hope you have a good one. =)